"Man played at-home vet by stitching up his cut dog with twine and clamping mouth shut with duct tape so it couldn't whine"
This kind of thing happens more often that you might realize. I've been around the dog world for a very long time. I've seen situations about this bad a few times. In every situation, the person had a substance abuse problem, was a cheapskate, and did the surgery themselves because they screwed up and the dog got hurt and didn't want others to find out.
This stuff is felony / prison territory folks. It is better to take the dog to the vet than to have the police take you to jail. And it is cruel to do medical procedures that you are unqualified to perform.
Phoenix Dog Trainer and Behaviorist, by Sam The Dog Trainer; Sam Basso trains dogs and puppies in the Phoenix, Chandler, Mesa, Tempe, San Tan Valley, Queen Creek, Scottsdale, Paradise Valley, Glendale, Gilbert, AZ and surrounding areas.
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