Dog Training Tip: Negative Self Talk

I see it all the time. When I coach students, from beginners to advanced, they engage in negative self talk as they work with their dogs. These personal put downs don’t help their training, instead they are roadblocks to better results. In some cases, the negative self talk is an indicator that the student is about to quit the training and to quit on their dog. Dog training isn’t just about training the dogs, it is also about training the people. If the handler’s head isn’t on straight, then the training isn’t going to work out over time...

It’s Not You, It’s The Dog

When you train enough dogs… you learn a lot about human behavior, both bad and good. One interesting phenomenon is the Blame Game. Here’s an example of how that works.

A retired couple decides to get a puppy. They are used to living with adult dogs, and it’s been years since they had a puppy. They are used to the old dogs they had previously puttering around the home, low maintenance, easy affection, low drives, running on automatic. Things have changed in their lives over the years. They also find themselves puttering around the home, living a low maintenance lifestyle, easy affection from family and friends, low drives, running life on automatic.

Now, along comes this energetic puppy. At first, they figure the puppy will just go along and get along. So, no planning went into this adoption or purchase. They didn’t count the cost in advance, didn’t think this through. First problem: peeing and pooping in the home. Next problem: jumping and biting and chewing. Their response often is to react, not train the puppy. I’ve seen a lot of puppies that have been hit by retired folks. Hitting isn’t training, it is abusive. But, they don’t see it that way at this point. They think they are training the puppy, yet behaviors keep getting worse. In some cases, the puppy mouthing becomes true aggression as the owners hit the dog more and more.

Then, they often start arguing among themselves. Maybe the husband wanted the puppy, but the wife didn’t. The Blame Game starts.

They blame the untrained dog for not being trained. They blame each other for the dog situation, and start arguing. The extended family gets involved, and starts blaming the dog, their parents/ grandparents. Hurt feelings begin to develop.

After enough “do it yourself” attempts to train the puppy, they decide to get professional help. This is where I am asked to step in. I’ve seen this situation a million times… “If we can’t get this fixed, then we will have to get rid of the dog”, is the typical thing I’m told.

This is now the fork in the road. Some go one way, others go the other way.

The first way is that they hire me, I start lessons, but I soon find out they are just letting it go in one ear and out the other. Each time I come back, there are excuses for why they didn’t do any of the lessons. Or they have forgotten what I told them, lost their notes, didn’t get the required supplies, and so on. They will start to insinuate that it is now my fault that the dog isn’t getting better. The Blame Game is still going on, but now I’m also one of the the lightning rods. They always find something or someone else to blame. I try to gently but clearly encourage them, at first, to do the lessons, because that will solve the issues. I know, because I do this every day. But, soon, if they aren’t doing anything, just giving lip service to the training, and still blaming the dog and everyone else, I need to ask them if they are truly committed to training the dog. They will, at first, say they are, or will try 40 different ways of avoiding answering the question. I know where this is going, soon I will be told they are giving up on the dog. It is the dog’s fault. And they are too old, too busy, wanted a different lifestyle, the wife didn’t want a dog in the first place, the extended family has talked them out of it, and so on. So they get rid of the dog, now with behavioral problems they created, and I never hear from them again.

The second way is that they hire me, I start lessons, they do the homework, and in a relatively short period of time, the problems melt away. These folks often do full obedience work with the dog. They aren’t any younger than this other couple. Don’t have more time. Don’t have more money. Don’t have fewer age related health issues. They just have one different thing: they don’t do the Blame Game. They don’t blame the dog. They don’t blame me. They made the decision to train the dog, and not fool around. They get in there and do what needs to be done. They keep their scheduled appointments. Pay in advance. Every time I show up, I can tell they have been working with the dog. They take notes. They are ready for the lesson when I arrive. The puppy turns out perfectly into a well behaved adult, and all is well. In this case, they knew it was them, not the dog, that needed help, and that leads to success.

In the other case, it is them, not the dog... they just don't want to admit it.

I see variations of this kind of thing, not just with retired couples. I see this with young folks, who neglect their puppies for the first couple of years, and then the adult dog becomes dangerously aggressive. I’ve seen young folks who got a dog, locked it in their room for 2 years, and then the dog got to the point it wasn’t safe to be around any strangers. They had time to go out with their friends, just no time for the dog. Yet, other young people, college age, don’t neglect their dogs, do socialize them, do the training, and such, and their dogs turn out perfectly. In the first case, it is them, not the dog. In the successful case, they didn’t blame the dog, or do stupid training, they got in there and did what needed to be done. They accepted it was them, not the dog.

So, if you see someone say it isn’t them, it is the dog… you know the real answer. It’s them. Not the dog.

Pets Now Recognized Part Of Family For Domestic Violence Victims

"Last week a federal judge recognized pets as part of the family for domestic violence victims, by passing the Pets and Women Safety Act as a component of the Farm Bill."

This is good news. People often won't leave their abuser if they can't take their pets. The pet is held hostage, abused or killed by the abuser as another way of punishing and controlling the victim. 

Dog Training: Separation Anxiety

Yesterday's interesting lesson was for a lab with separation anxiety. In most of these cases, the dog has other issues that are related. It is a medley of issues all revolving around fear or worry. I go after all of them, because if I only dealt with the separation anxiety, it wouldn't get resolved.

Electric Collar Training On Fearful Dog

I received a call the other day from a rescue volunteer about a fearful dog that was subjected to an electric collar. It didn't work to fix the barking. It didn't work to make the dog not react to strangers.

How can an electric collar make a dog not fearful? It can't. I will volunteer to help this dog once they find a new foster home. But the "training" will have made the situation worse.

Just don't do it again, m'kay?

Today's Lesson

Started the day training a 6 month old Standard Poodle; he arrived here last Sunday. First lesson for him. He's a super smart dog, very calm demeanor, but hasn't had any formal training. First objectives... 1.) Up/ Off... we need to get him to load into a vehicle because he is going to be too big to pick up; 2.) Walking on a Leash... he has no idea what to do when a leash is on, and so to prevent him from panicking, we have to gently get him to understand it; 3.) Kennel Up... he doesn't like his crate, and is displaying a bit of separation anxiety when the owner is gone. Need to get him to like it and be calm. 4.) Need to get him on a feeding schedule. The breeder had him free feeding, but that leads to issues regarding house training; 5.) House Training... no accidents in the home yet. Need to get him on a schedule, and to potty on command. Plus, gave the owners a shopping list of items needed for his training and care. There are other objectives and needs, which will get addressed along the way.

Every lesson is customized. This was what he needed today. I'll see him again on Sunday

Merry Christmas

Dog Returned To Rescue In Horrible Condition

"Dog returned to Denver-area rescue group with ribs showing, hair missing"

I wonder why the dog owner wasn't charged with animal neglect. We don't get enough details in this article to know. I do know that in many communities, animal crimes are swept under the rug... prosecutors won't prosecute.

Monday Humor

Javalina and Dogs

I had a visitor during one of my dog training lessons yesterday. If there is one, there are many nearby. They will attack dogs, they see them as a threat. So, we moved to another location... Note the raised hairs on his neck... he was aware of me (I was about 30 yards away).

Officer Demoted For Dropping K-9 Off At Animal Shelter.

"A Jackson (MS) police officer has been demoted after dropping his K-9 off at a local animal shelter."

I truly think this was a dishonorable and negligent thing to do. I have a great deal of respect for law enforcement. It is one of the toughest jobs out there. One of the difficulties is having to be a role model to the public for lawful, decent, moral behavior. I don't know how anyone could think that abandoning a retired service dog at an animal shelter would be considered a good thing.

As a citizen, I expect more from our police officers.

Animal shelters, at best, are still not a great place for any pet. Often, pets are killed for lack of space. Older dogs are especially vulnerable. This dog didn't deserve a potential death sentence. Even the Jackson Police Department didn't think it was right...

"“The Jackson Police Department respects and holds our canines with high regard just as we do any other officer within our department... They are family, and we do not feel they deserve anything less than a loving home in retirement.” The department has “immediately implemented protocol which requires quarterly welfare checks for all canines, both active duty and retired.”

Man Shoots Dog As He Hops Fences Running From Police

I have said this numerous times... a guard dog is now obsolete. We don't know if the dog in this yard was guarding the owner's property, but it was no defense against an armed attacker.

"When officers got to the area of Comanche and San Mateo, they say the suspect ran off into the nearby neighborhood and that the suspect began hopping fences into the backyards of multiple homes. APD says as officers were setting up a perimeter to contain the suspect, officers heard the sound of gunshots. Police say the first shots came from the suspect as he shot and killed a dog in someone's backyard."

My heart aches for the dog and its owner. So very sad

You Reap What You Sow

If you allow your children to tease and threaten your dog, your dog will eventually attack your children. You will then get what you deserve... and the victims will be the children and your dog.

How many child dog bite cases are a result of this kind of behavior? We will never know. But it is probably a lot more than we will ever find out.

Man Shoots Dog For Peeing In His Yard

Today, we see a horrific story of a dog that was shot and killed for peeing in someone's yard.

First, let's talk about using a gun to shoot a dog in a circumstance like this. Your only legal way of using a gun is to first, do it legally. As a general rule, you can only use a gun to defend your life. You can't use it to defend property, such as your lawn.

I recommend watching this legal opinion: THE GUN LAWYER: Defending your Pets with a Gun (VIDEO)

Reading the article... what do we see here?

He shot and killed a Chihuahua with a rifle. What has he been charged with? "Deputies searched Ramos' home and found AR-15 and AK-47 rifles that are banned in California. Ramos also faces charges of possession of banned assault weapons and negligent discharge of a firearm."

What should be the punishment? Love to hear your suggestions

New Puppies

It's that time of the year. I have friends getting a puppy in a week. I have numerous students getting puppies over the next few weeks.

I got a Christmas puppy once. The experience was a total joy for me... and the entire family. Plus, we all had time to get to know him.

Some say that we shouldn't promote puppy adoptions right now. However, many great dogs get overlooked at the shelters and are put down because of overcrowding. This is EXACTLY the time to consider getting a puppy! Go do it. Adopt, save a life, make a home!

Visualization For Successful Dog Ownership

In order to have the best outcome for your dog's training, I recommend setting some future goals and creating some mental imagery of what that future will look like. Without a dream, then how can that dream come true?

Three years ago, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. These days, my health isn't the same as it used to be. I'm more tired. My feet hurt all the time. I get weird autonomic reflexes from time to time, and phantom pains. Contrast this to the way I was most of my life... I was someone who hadn't seen a doctor since I was in my mid teens. I could work all day and into the night, day after day. I felt great all the time, in shape, no injuries, great cardio, strong... you name it. This new situation has developed into a journey, a quest, to get back to what I know is my normal healthy self. I have goals of how I would like to feel, things I would like to do again, places I would like to visit, shoes I would like to wear, and a sense of inner peace about my health.

The visualization, that mental imagery, came in handy on Friday at the gym. I go to work out, but also it is ongoing physical therapy. But, I didn't feel like it that day. I was tired, a bit cranky.

I went anyway. I did every repetition, every minute, full intensity. I never let myself quit (if the instructor says 100 repetitions, I would never do 99... doing that would make me a quitter, and once you quit, it is easier to quit a second time, and a third, and so on). I'm there to get well and to stay as healthy as possible. My goals are stronger than my current situation. My doctor likes me as a patient... I do it all, he knows my goal is to be healed, not just to tolerate this mess.

Responsible dog ownership, and having a well trained dog, work the same way. I recommend first getting a vision of how you'd like your dog ownership experience to develop and turn out. Find meaningful life goals. What are your days and nights going to be like? Is your dog going to be fit and healthy? Plan on taking your dog to work? Plan on taking your dog on vacations? How about doing therapy dog work, or is this dog going to be your emotional support dog? What is this dog going to be like with strangers, friends, family, other pets, and other animals? What are the minimum standards you want in terms of obedience? I think it is very important to set these goals.

Those goals, visualizations, that imagery will cause you to not quit on your dog. It will give you that energy to see through all the training to have a well mannered, safe, controllable, obedient, and loving dog.

I have seen, and worked with, some people who put in a half baked effort training and living with their dogs. It's kind of like eating lukewarm soup, stale bread, or wilted vegetables. Not so great. It's like taking something that should have been wonderful, and then neglecting it, and then settling for less. I just don't see the point. You know, puppies start out has happy fun loving bundles of fur. Then, either the people build on that, or they wreck their dogs. Shelters are fed up with neglectful dog owners who dump their dogs because they were quitters, losers. The happy dog might instead now be a bag of ribs, maybe have some scars, have some emotional traumas, very little training... and someone has to come in and save that pup and try to patch up these emotional, training and health wounds.

Successful dog owners start with a vision of successful dog ownership. I ask new puppy owners what they envision, and the good ones already have an idea of what they want. That's why they have already hired me, are ready to write the check, and have their calendars open so we can schedule the lessons out into the coming weeks. I know pretty quickly, from the first appointment, the dogs that are going to turn out the best. It is always with these types of visionary people. They get it. They love dogs and they love their new dog.

This is also true when dealing with dogs with, sometimes severe, behavioral issues. I'm thinking right now of a couple of dog aggressive pit bulls I'm working with. The owners are motivated, we are almost to the end of the programs they signed up for, and these dogs are no longer reacting to strange dogs in public. The owners knew what they wanted, visualized the end they wanted, and it made them dig in and do all the homework. Visualization is one of the secret tools for turning around difficult dog problems. Just having a set of exercises, or enrolling in some program, isn't enough. There has to be the follow through, especially when you start out with a dog with a lot of problems.

So, your homework, today, is to set those goals, visualize the future you want for your dog. Then, if we work together, let's set a plan to get there. It might not happen tomorrow, and for severe cases, might not happen for months or even over a year, but most likely you will get there. That's what I want for you, what I visualize for you and your dog.

"See" you soon!

Christmas Dog Training

I had this thought today: How many dog owners need some quick training tips to deal with Christmas, which is only a couple of weeks away?

First, there are the Christmas puppy tips. Lots of people get puppies at this time of the year. I have friends that just informed me yesterday, that a new puppy is on the way! That was quite unexpected. And I have a new student which will begin lessons in a week, in anticipation of a new puppy which will arrive on January 3rd. Getting on the training early is a good idea. Often, new pets get a lot of personal time with their families these next couple of weeks, before everything gets back to normal after New Years. Proper training, invested now, pays off when things get busy and everyone gets back to work and school. This is especially true regarding puppy training, such as house training.

Second, we have the issue of people coming over to visit, and the potential for misbehavior, or even aggression, if the visitors do something inappropriate with the dog. There is still time to deal with these things. We can get on the jumping, running out the door, dropping things on command, house training, and so forth.

Christmas dog training is a good idea for a lot of dogs. It is a good investment, and the timing is often perfect to address many issues.

If you are interested, then obviously, call or text me to set up a time and date.

Dog Behavior Expert Witness

I recently testified in a dog bite case as a dog behaviorist expert witness. This case culminated in a 3 hour deposition and 3 hours of videotaped testimony for the jury. I don’t know yet the outcome of the case. So, here are a few thoughts regarding what it is like and why I did it.