Dogs And Marriage (Part 1)

More than a few times, I have found out on a first lesson that a spouse got a dog without the full acceptance of the other spouse. 

What I mean by full acceptance is that the other spouse may have agreed, but didn't want the dog in the first place, and now that the dog is there, resents that the dog is there. And the conversation often veers into "why can't we make the dog an outside dog"? 

Let's take these in backwards order.

First, pet dogs are not outside dogs. They are not wolves or coyotes, they do not have the physical characteristics, support of a pack to protect and socialize and feed them, and they will not be provided sufficient resources to safely survive outdoors. In AZ, the wildlife present a very real fatal risk to any outdoor dog: Africanized bees, rattlesnakes, raccoons, coyotes, wolves, black bear, mountain lions, bobcats, jaguar, hawks, owls: just to name a few. Dogs are also completely vulnerable to a human invader, and they will not survive in these circumstances. This "outdoor dog" business is a roundabout way of beginning the process of getting rid of the dog.

Second, not always is an agreement an agreement. If someone feels coerced into an agreement, then you didn't ever really have an agreement. Yes, when people give their word, especially to the other spouse, they should follow through. However... how many people give vows at the marriage ceremony only later to say they didn't mean it? And then someone eventually hands paperwork over to the other spouse saying they have filed for divorce? Agreements are dependent upon the people involved, not just the paperwork or verbal agreement they entered into. Some people are great salespeople and can bully or deceive others into an agreement. Some people agree too quickly. Some people don't see an agreement as an agreement. These things should not be rushed.

Third... "I only agreed to have this dog because of ______, but I never wanted the dog in the first place." If you can't get past that point before the agreement is made, you aren't going to have a lasting agreement in most cases. The dog is doomed. Unless there is a change in heart.

Plan accordingly.