Monday, November 07, 2005


I think it is important to have fun with your dog every day. They need it, you need it, and your relationship with your dog needs it.

So, here’s some dog fun for today…


A MAN goes into a cinema with his dog to watch a film. It's a romantic comedy and when there's a funny scene the dog starts laughing.

A little later on there's a sad part and suddenly the dog starts crying.

This goes on throughout the entire film, laughing and crying at all the right places. A man sitting a few rows back has witnessed the entire thing and decides to follow the man out.
In the foyer, he approaches the dog owner and says: "That's truly amazing!"

"It certainly is," the dog owner replied. "He hated the book!"


A MAN takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" said the man.

"No, because he's really heavy," replied the vet.

BREED STANDARD FOR A PUMPKIN (In honor of Thanksgiving)

General Appearance-Round and orange. The history of the pumpkin goes back to ancient times. Pumpkins appeared in the drawings of the ancient Egyptians, often next to dogs that have been described variously as obvious ancestors of either the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel or the Pharaoh Hound. The pumpkins claim to ancient origin is also upheld by its mention in great classics of literature such as Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater and Cinderella.

As befitting such an ancient and storied gourd, the pumpkin should present an impression of size, shell strength and graceful symmetry to the observer.

Size, Proportion, Substance- The bigger the better sums up the question of size nicely. Proportion is most important as the stately gourd should sit firm and stable while presenting an easily carveable face. Pumpkins are filled with a rather stringy, orange substance. This should be removed before showing.

Head - Pumpkin expression is left open to the whim of the carver. Plain triangle eyes and nose to be severely penalized.

Neck, Topline, Fore and Hindquarters - Pumpkins possessing any of these features must be disqualified. Judges will call for an exorcist at their discretion.

Color - A shiny, deep orange the color of the University of Tennessee Football team uniform is most desired. Pale, washed out color to be severely penalized.

Gait - a pumpkin of proper balance and proportion will roll with smoothness and grace. Out of round movement to be penalized to the extent it interferes with being stolen by vagrant teens, rolled down the driveway, and smashed to smithereens on the road.

Temperament -The pumpkin is a stoic and stationary fruit, not given to fits of needless exercise.


A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't care one way or the other.

PS: All of these are supposed to part of the public domain. If there is a valid copyright, please let me know.

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